Cultivation Chat Group

Chapter 1003: In the future, you can no longer f*ck Doudou

Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu

What did she do?

Nan Haomeng bitterly smiled, and said, “She brought a smog bomb to Jiangnan University Town... Later, she dropped the remote. Then, I accidentally pressed the button.”

“...” Song Shuhang.

Are you f*cking kidding me?

That loud explosion just now and the fast spreading smog were unexpectedly the doing of Nan Haomeng and that young girl.

More importantly, what the hell was a ‘smog bomb’? What kind of train of thought did the guy who’d invented this stuff have to think up of such a thing?

Was he not afraid of being found out and executed by the country?

After a deep sigh, Song Shuhang asked, “Where do I go to bail her out?”

This matter was related to the tribulation-transcending formation, so it couldn’t be taken lightly. Therefore, it would be better to find the girl quickly and bail her out.

“I don’t know where you have to go to bail her out. I only know that she was taken away by a white-haired daoist priest. Then, she said that as long as I told you the words [Tabulation Foundation], you would already know everything,” Nan Haomeng answered.

“...” Song Shuhang.

Know everything my ass!

Heavens, a white-haired daoist in the cultivation world? If only there weren’t that many... Whenever one went to a sect, they would be able to see tons of white-haired daoists.

Some with tender faces, some with old faces, and also some with neither old nor tender faces. In the world of cultivation, white was a very popular hair color, alright? If that was the only clue he had, how would he be able to find the ‘white-haired daoist’ and bail her out?

“Do you have a picture of that daoist?” Song Shuhang asked.

“There wasn’t enough time to take a picture, and it’s very foggy outside. It’s hard to see even five meters away from you. I want to go to the toilet, but I’ve seriously got no idea how to get there,” Nan Haomeng said. “Song Shuhang, that’s all I know. I’ll end the call now, I suddenly felt the urge to urinate~”

As soon as he finished talking, Nan Haomeng ended the call.

Song Shuhang looked at his phone with a depressed look on his face.

Soon after, he remembered ‘Senior White’ and the others.

At the time of the incident, Senior White and Senior Su Clan’s Seven should have been near where the cars were parked, which shouldn’t have been far from where the bomb took off, so they might know something.

Song Shuhang opened the Nine Provinces Number One Group.

Afterward, he found out that they were currently discussing topics related to him in the group.

Fairy Blossom [Soft Feather]: “Senior Song, just now, my father and I arrived at the ancestral land of the Chu Family. Right after, we saw a group of evil cultivators preparing to attack the Chu Family. This time, with the permission from my father, I got into action. It was my first time riding a flying sword and using ‘sword controlling technique’ together with the Spirit Butterfly Island’s sword technique. It was an enjoyable fight. Moreover, I heard Chu Chunying talk about the disaster that befell the Chu Family before. Thank you, Senior Song, for helping the Chu Family survive the tribulation.”

However, Song Shuhang was on the phone at that moment, and he didn’t reply to Soft Feather.

Afterward, Soft Feather seemingly looked at the chat logs of the group and saw the exchange between Song Shuhang and Northern River’s Loose Cultivator.

And, Song Shuhang had said that he would look very handsome after putting on the ‘Black Iron Godly Armor’.

“Would Senior Song look like this after wearing the Black Iron Godly Armor?” Fairy Blossom [Sof Feather] happily sent a picture.

It was a photo processed through Photoshop.

The Black Iron Godly Armor’s face was removed and replaced with Song Shuhang’s.

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Soft Feather, your photoshopped picture doesn’t seem right. Fellow Daoist Northern River’s [Black Iron Godly Armor] covers the entire body, leaving only the eyes and the nostrils uncovered. So, Soft Feather, you should only add in Song Shuhang’s eyes to the Black Iron Godly Armor using photoshop, that’s how it should look.”

“I see, I’ll try again.” Fairy Blossom [Soft Feather] went to edit the photo again.

Then, she sent a newly edited picture.

Young Master Phoenix Slayer: “Although the eyes are placed correctly, I feel like they are full of fear? Which photo of little friend Shuhang did you use?

Fairy Lychee: “Also, the size isn’t right, either. The [Black Iron Godly Armor] can automatically change to fit the owner’s figure. That is to say, if little friend Shuhang wears this armor, his figure will more or less remain the same.”

“That makes sense, I’ll adjust his build, then.” Fairy Blossom [Soft Feather] replied.

A moment later, she sent another edited photo.

Wandering Monk Profound Principle: “👍”

Great Master felt that this photo was accurate.

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “This photo is good. I think this is how little friend Shuhang will look when he puts on the armor. It’s seems accurate!”

“I still don’t understand which part of this is supposed to look cool. It looks somewhat ugly overall,” Young Master Phoenix Slayer said.

Fairy Lychee: “Perhaps little friend Shuhang is going to wear a daoist robe above this [Black Iron Godly Armor] which will then make him look somewhat cool?”

“The [Black Iron Godly Armor] has no hair, and I feel it would fit better with a kasaya. It would also be more in line with little friend Shuhang’s style. 😄” Fairy Dongfang Six sent a smiling emoji.

“...” Song Shuhang.

You go wear a kasaya, all of you go wear a kasaya!

“Oh, little friend Shuhang is online,” Fairy Dongfang Six said.

“Senior Song, thank you for helping the Chu Family survive the tribulation before,” Fairy Blossom [Soft Feather] quickly said.

Song Shuhang: “You’re welcome. At that time, I just helped by pulling ‘Senior White’ over to visit the Chu Family.”

Venerable White: “Not me.”

Fairy Blossom [Soft Feather]: “?”

Song Shuhang smiled, and said, “Anyway, I merely drew reinforcements over to the Chu Family to deal with the evil cultivators.”

“Well, thank you anyway, Senior Song. If you hadn’t helped, Chu Family would have been in deep trouble,” Fairy Blossom [Soft Feather] said.

Fairy Dongfang Six: “Right, Shuhang, are you going to wear a daoist robe or a kasaya over the [Black Iron Godly Armor]?

Song Shuhang: “I’m wearing neither. 😡”

“Naked?” Fairy Dongfang Six said.

“Of course not. When I receive the ‘Black Iron Godly Armor’, I’ll take a photo of myself and show you how handsome I look,” Song Shuhang said.

Wait, this is the wrong topic.

I went online to ask Venerable White something.

So, Song Shuhang said, “@Venerable White, Senior White, did you see a white-haired daoist take away a young girl earlier?

“Yeah, I did see one,” Venerable White said.

Song Shuhang: “Great. Senior White, do you know who that white-haired daoist is? And where did he take the young girl?

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “I see. There could only be one truth... Shuhang, what’s your relationship with that young girl?”

Truth your ass!

“Senior Thrice Reckless, stop causing trouble. That young girl might be related to ‘Demon Monarch Nirvana’, who’s going to prepare a tailor-made set of tribulation-transcending formations for me,” Song Shuhang said. “However, as soon as she arrived at Jiangnan University Town, this girl released a smog bomb, covering the entire place with smog. Now, I want to find that white-haired daoist to bail her out. At this time, I feel as though I had just f*cked Doudou.”

Yellow Mountain is very tired and wants to retire: “@Tyrannical Saber Song One, little friend Shuhang, Doudou is already a taken girl, and he’s going to get married soon. Next time, you shouldn’t use the words ‘f*ck Doudou’ anymore, just use ‘f*ck a dog’. Otherwise, it might cause a misunderstanding.”

Song Shuhang: “...” Right, Doudou was going to get married soon. Still, to whom was True Monarch Yellow Mountain marrying him off? Song Shuhang was very curious.

Venerable White: “Mm-hm, I know who the white-haired daoist is. He’s Daoist Priest Horizon.”

“This daoist name sounds familiar,” Song Shuhang said.

Venerable White: “Mm-hm, you met him not long ago.”

Thrice Reckless Mad Saber: “He has a nickname, Frenzied Strength Imparter. Are you afraid now?”

“F*ck, so it was him!” The corner of Song Shuhang’s mouth twitched. Last time, Daoist Priest Horizon had almost imparted him some strength.

“I’ll bring you to see him in the afternoon,” Venerable White said.

“Not now?” Song Shuhang asked.

“No hurry, go to class first. Anyway, Daoist Priest Horizon isn’t far from where we are. We can go during your lunch break,” Venerable White replied.

Song Shuhang: “That’s also good.”

“You go to class first and make progress every day. I’ll contact you this afternoon 😤,” Venerable White said.

“...” Song Shuhang.

After this topic was over...

“By the way, is there anyone going to True Martial Island soon?” Fairy Lychee asked in the group.

“Does Fairy Lychee want to buy something there?” Fairy Dongfang Six said.

True Martial Island was an island moving around in the middle of the ocean. Its true appearance was that of a big turtle with the bloodline of the ‘Black Tortoise’. Later, cultivators gradually established a trading place on its back.

Today, it was a well-known trading place in the world of cultivators.

“This time, I’m going there to participate in an interesting event and win the third prize,” Fairy Lychee said. “I heard that the person who gets third place gets a spiritual beast. the [Cocooned Cow]. I’ve been interested in this kind of spiritual beast for a long time. Is there any fellow daoist going with me?”

“An event on True Martial Island? Are you talking about the ‘True Martial Cup Valkyrie Competition’? Count me in, then,” Young Master Phoenix Slayer said. “I’m not interested in the prizes, but I’m interested in that technique that the ‘Valkyrie’ created.”

“That’s something Northern European practitioner created, right? Is it true that the creation process is very cruel?” Island Master Tiankong said.

Tyrant Flood Dragon wants to father a football team laughed, and said, “Haha, when it comes to this topic, I can’t help but butt in. Actually, the ‘Valkyrie’ technique on True Martial Island has nothing to do with the ‘Valkyrie’ from Scandinavia. Truthfully, a long time ago, some people obtained part of the ‘puppetization’ technique of the Immortal from the Jet-Black Sect and decided to sell it to the guys on True Martial Island. The guys on True Martial Island were greedy, and there was nothing they didn’t dare to buy. After the purchase, they altered the technique a little and said that it was some ‘Valkyrie’ technique they had gotten from Northern Europe. Hahahaha.”

“Fellow Daoist Tyrant Flood Dragon, why do you know these things so clearly?” Fairy Lychee asked curiously.

True Monarch Tyrant Flood Dragon laughed, and said, “Because at that time, those bastards offered me to buy the puppetization technique, but I refused. Soon after, the ‘True Martial Island’ near my territory suddenly got their hands on this ‘Valkyrie’ technique. Even if I use my tail to think, I can guess what happened.”

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