Cultivation Chat Group

Chapter 1122: Don’t watch too many unrealistic dramas

Translator: GodBrandy Editor: Kurisu

Song Shuhang asked, “Aren’t you going to learn sword techniques?”

Lady Onion asked back, “Why would I learn sword techniques?”

Song Shuhang sighed, and said, “Think about it, how handsome would you look if you learned sword techniques?” As he did not have the talent to learn sword techniques, he especially hoped that the people around him could learn some cool sword techniques.

Lady Onion rolled her eyes, and said, “I have to stay by your side until I get my freedom. By being next to you—someone who only has experience in learning saber techniques, and whose sword talent is zero—you actually want me to learn sword techniques? Other than that, you have ‘Saber Intent Condensing Lotus Seeds’, but don’t have ‘Sword Intent Condensing Lotus Seeds’. If you were me, would you choose saber techniques or sword techniques?”

Song Shuhang confidently said, “Sword techniques.”

“You’re hopeless,” Lady Onion said. “For cultivators, strength is everything. Handsomeness is as good as a fart. Look at me, so what if I am hot or beautiful? I lacked the strength, and I was beaten up and kept inside a size-reducing purse. No matter how handsome you are, without enough strength, what’s the use?”

Song Shuhang: “...”

Lady Onion then said, “Anyway, you’ve got a call.”

Song Shuhang asked, “Where’s the phone?”

“Here,” Lady Onion said as she handed the phone to Song Shuhang.

Song Shuhang took a look at the screen and found that the phone was in silent mode.

The call was from Su Clan’s Sixteen.

Song Shuhang said, “When did I put my phone on silent?”

Lady Onion responded, “I did that. I couldn’t sleep last night, so I put it on silent mode and shut off the sound as I watched a movie.”

Song Shuhang: “...”

Watching a movie on mute? When did Lady Onion become so considerate?

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Song Shuhang unlocked the phone, and answered the call. “Sixteen, morning!”

Su Clan’s Sixteen asked, “Are you awake? Where are you right now?”

Song Shuhang replied, “In the school’s dormitory. I was with my roommates yesterday. I haven’t been back to the dormitory to sleep for quite a while, so I stayed here for the night.”

Su Clan’s Sixteen laughed, and said, “I’ve sorted out that box of immortal clothing, and I’ll bring it to you in a while. When will you be coming back?”

Song Shuhang answered, “I’ll be back in a short while. I’ll call you before I go back.”

Su Clan’s Sixteen said, “Forget it, I’ll just look for you at the school.”

Song Shuhang said, “That’s fine as well. I’ll be waiting for you.”

After ending the call, Song Shuhang heard his roommates in the dormitory moving—it seemed that his friends had woken up one after the other.

It was Tubo’s alarm clock that woke everyone up.

Tubo rubbed his temple as he smiled bitterly, and said, “F*ck, I forgot to turn off the alarm yesterday.”

After getting a hard-to-come-by good sleep and not hearing that typing sound, he ended up getting woken up by his own alarm clock.

Yangde laughed, and said, “Waking up at this is also good. The traffic in the morning is just fine. By the way... Shuhang, I just heard you in a call, whose nickname is Sixteen?”

Gao Moumou responded, “Oh, I know. It was Teacher Su, right? It’s still early morning, and you’re already all lovey-dovey, how romantic.”

“Go die!” Song Shuhang smiled, and then said, “I bought you guys breakfast and made you some tea. I still have something to attend to, so I’m going to leave first.”

“We understand. Are you going to see your parents on the Mid-Autumn Festival? However, Shuhang, you’re still only a sophomore, remember not to impregnate girls yet,” Gao Moumou said with a laugh.

Song Shuhang raised his middle finger at Gao Moumou as he said, “There’s no saving you filth. I’ve already told you that the relationship between Sixteen and I isn’t what you think.”

After Song Shuhang left, the little turtle on the table became a little worried.

It was worried because of the Mid-Autumn Festival—it was practically a small vacation break, and Gao Moumou and the others were going to go home. Would Gao Moumou bring it with him? If they didn’t go back together, how was it supposed to accomplish the mission given to it by Lady Jiaojiao?

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As Song Shuhang was moving towards the exit of the boys’ dormitory, he saw Su Clan’s Sixteen in the distance.

He saw Sixteen holding a baguette in her hands and nibbling on it.

Song Shuhang waved at her, and asked, “Sixteen, is that your breakfast?”

Su Clan’s Sixteen took another small bite, and said, “I’ve already had breakfast at home, but when I saw the freshly baked bread at a bakery on the way, with it also being very fragrant, I ended up buying it. Do you want some?”

“I’ve already had breakfast,” Song Shuhang said.

[Sigh, your EQ is seriously too low. At this time, according to plots in romance dramas, you should have smiled radiantly, and then taken a bite from where Sixteen had bitten from. And then, Sixteen would blush,] Lady Onion said to Song Shuhang using the ‘secret transmission technique’.

She had long mastered how to use the secret transmission technique. When Song Shuhang first learned to transmit secret messages, she was watching the entire process. It was just that her cultivation realm wasn’t high enough before, so she couldn’t practice it.

[But this can still be salvaged, you just have to say, ‘Although I’ve already eaten, I could still eat a bit more.’ Then, you make your move and take a bite,] Lady Onion continued to say using the ‘secret transmission technique’.

Song Shuhang: “...”

Sixteen looked at Song Shuhang who suddenly looked troubled, and saw that Shuhang’s gaze remained fixed on her baguette.

She gave it some thought, broke off half of the baguette with her hands, and handed one half to Song Shuhang. “Here, you can have this half.”

Song Shuhang took it, and said, “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Su Clan’s Sixteen replied.

Then, they went back to the Medicine Master’s building side by side.

[Fail, neither of you passed. At that moment, Su Clan’s Sixteen should have just fed the bread straight to your mouth,] Lady Onion commented.

Song Shuhang: “...”

He suddenly remembered the words said by Fairy Fleeting Life’s eldest brother: ‘don’t watch too many unrealistic dramas, they’ll affect your IQ!’ He was now considering whether or not to limit the time that Lady Onion spent watching romance dramas.

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When Song Shuhang and Su Clan’s Sixteen returned to the Medicine Master’s building, as they came upstairs to the living room, they saw that the TV in the living room was still on.

Loli Shi was huddled into a ball as she lay asleep on the sofa.

For how long did this little girl watch the TV yesterday?

Song Shuhang turned off the TV, picked up Shi, and carried her back to her own room to let her have a good sleep.

Then, they went upstairs to Fairy Fleeting Life’s room.

As soon as they got onto the stairs, they heard a conversation in the room.

“Teacher, what are you talking about? You’re going to replace your eldest brother and marry some dog?” It was the voice of the monster fox, Dugu Bai.

As expected, he had already come out of the box sealed by Senior White Two.

“Mm-hm,” Fairy Fleeting Life answered.

The monster fox said, “How can this be?! I strongly oppose this! How can you replace your eldest brother and marry his supposed wife? What is this sudden lesbian turn?! Absolutely not! Also, isn’t it a joyous event that your eldest brother was able to get a wife? Why are you stopping him?”

“No, the problem is that Doudou, whom my eldest brother is supposed to marry, is a male dog,” Fairy Fleeting Life said with a sigh.

“Huh?” The monster fox’s eyes went wide open.

In other words, her eldest brother was gay?

Was there a mistake somewhere? How could such a serious and conservative person such as his teacher’s eldest brother be gay? There definitely had to be some conspiracy to this!

“So, in my stern refusal to accept such a thing, I ended up deciding to replace my eldest brother in his wedding, and be the one to marry Doudou instead,” Fairy Fleeting Life said.

“What did your eldest brother say?” Monster fox felt that something wasn’t right—it really felt like this was some meticulous scheme.

Fairy Fleeting Life replied, “My eldest brother ignored my refusal. He said that the wedding has already been decided and that it could not be called off. However, I threatened him and said that I would beat him unconscious and replace him in his wedding. Later, my eldest brother agreed. Then, he said that he’ll send the groom’s clothes over to my place in two days. ”

The monster fox stroked his forehead.

Sure enough, there was something fishy here.

The monster fox gnashed his teeth, and said, “No, I can’t agree to you marrying Doudou.”

“If you really want to have your eldest brother replaced in being wed to Doudou, then you can have me do it!” the monster fox spat out.

For his teacher, he could do anything!

“Have you also gone gay?” Fairy Fleeting Life’s eyes widened.

The monster fox: “...”

Fairy Fleeting Life said, “I’m telling you, don’t even think about becoming gay! Rest assured. After I marry that Doudou, I will find a chance to divorce him in a few days.”

“No, I can’t let teacher’s reputation be affected. I will definitely find a way to stop this!” The monster fox gritted his teeth.

Fairy Fleeting Life responded, “I’ve already decided. I’m warning you. If you dare put me unconscious and replace me in marrying that Doudou, then don’t even think about seeing me in your life again.”

The monster fox replied, “Then, I’ll find someone else to replace Teacher for the wedding. I know a few dog fairy maidens. If that Doudou is handsome, then someone would definitely be willing to replace you for the wedding. If not dog fairies, then I also know some cat fairies.”

“Don’t make trouble!” Fairy Fleeting Life said, and then she added, “You must not force others.”

The monster fox continued, “I’ll handle this. Teacher, you can rest assured. I’ll contact them right now.”

After saying that, he pushed the door to head out.

Then, he saw Song Shuhang and Su Clan’s Sixteen.

The monster fox screamed, “It’s you!”

Song Shuhang flatly said, “Mm-hm, it is indeed I.”

The monster fox stared at Song Shuhang for a while, and then suddenly said, “Don’t even think about hitting on my teacher. Teacher is mine!”

Song Shuhang shrugged. “Yeah, yeah, I know.”

The monster fox looked at Su Clan’s Sixteen, who was next to Song Shuhang, and felt relieved. “I still have something to attend to, see you later.”

Song Shuhang reminded, “Well, if you really want to find someone to replace Fairy Fleeting Life in that wedding, then you can try looking for a fairy maiden named ‘Chu Chu’; that would let the wedding go smoother.”

“You don’t have to worry about this!” The monster fox gritted his teeth, and quickly fled away.

Song Shuhang pinched his chin, and said, “Sixteen... Who do you think will end up marrying Doudou?”

Would it be Fairy Fleeting Life? The monster fox Dugu Bai? Fairy Fleeting Life’s eldest brother? Or would it end up being some other dog or car fairy maiden?

“Hehe, I’m starting to get interested in Doudou’s wedding,” Su Clan’s Sixteen said with a laugh.

Then, the two of them entered the room.

Fairy Fleeting Life was sitting at the table, holding her cheek up with one hand while sulking.

Su Clan’s Sixteen took out the box of immortal clothing.

Song Shuhang remembered about the Divine Beast Department’s inheritance, which had one part in the light and the other in the dark. Should he mention this matter to Fairy Fleeting Life?

Fleeting Life was the inheritor of the legacy left in the ‘light’. As such, would she be able to find any clues about the inheritance in the ‘dark’?

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