Heroes to Hunted

While we were walking with Nakamura dangling from my neck. I'd become lost in thought about what I'd done. Though I was still concerned about Sato, his condition could no longer distract me from the feelings I felt about becoming a murderer.

Thinking back, throughout my life, I had never once thought of myself as evil. Despite my issues, I always did my best to uphold the boundaries of the law and morality. I always helped people when I could to make up for my delinquency.

Still…staring at my bloodied hand, a thought that I'd kept locked up broke free.

'Am I…the bad guy now?' My heart constricted tight, leaving me feeling slightly lightheaded. The realization brought up many memories of my childhood. Memories that primarily left me grimacing with rage.

There were a few that brought joy, though. Or at least they did. Now, I felt ashamed just picturing her visage. I felt like I hadn't the right to rely on her memory to support me after my sin.

I apologized to my mother. Her son had become precisely what she warned him against becoming. I was no longer just a delinquent, a rebel against authority and society. No, I was a full-fledged criminal now.

I must've been pretty obvious with my distress since Nakamura had been staring at me the whole time.

"What do you want?" I grumbled and looked away toward the darkened tunnel walls to hide myself from him.

For a moment, he didn't respond at all. He only looked at me with an infuriating expression of pity. I opened my mouth, planning to tell him to mind his business, but he spoke first. "You know, "he laughed, "contrary to what you've seen, I'm actually a pretty good doctor."

"Yeah, that's pretty 'contrary.'" I sneered.

pαпdα Йᴏνê|,сòМ He chuckled again. "Do you know how long I've been a doctor? It was so long ago that I'd first enrolled in medical school. But, despite that, I could still feel the passion that I had that day. I was ready to heal the world and all its suffering!"

'Was this guy bragging to me?!' The idea that he was spouting all of this off was maddeningly irritating, so much so that I was ready to punch his lights out.

I furrowed my brow and tightened my fist. "What are tal-"

"Being a surgeon," he interrupted, "you aren't just responsible for saving people." His eyes hardened. "In some cases, you also become the one that decides who lives and who dies. It's when too many needs saving that your mettle is tested to its very limits."

He took a hard swallow and stared at the passing dull granite floor beneath us. Like he'd been entranced by his past, I saw various emotions flicker through his eyes. Then, flinching, he tightened his grip, remembering that he'd need to return to the present.

"Just as well, "he continued, "there've been times when I'd been forced to make those hard choices.please visit panda-:)ɴᴏᴠᴇ1.co)m

So many times, I decided to save the son instead of the mother. Times where I'd save the father instead of the bachelor. Such are the sins of a surgeon." As he continued, his voice steadily lost its stability. With every word uttered, it became increasingly obvious that he'd been holding back his emotions with everything he could.

"That burden had always been too heavy for me to bear. Although I was proud to have preserved a life, I'd find myself depressed that I inadvertently caused the deaths of others. Of course, numerous people offered me help in any way possible after the fact."

"I hate to say that I declined every single one of them. I thought that my sins meant that I had to suffer alone. Ultimately, under the influence of what I'd done, I could feel my mind slipping away into places it should never have gone. Eventually, I willingly walked the path of self-destruction under the pressure I'd been crushed under."

He squeezed my shoulder with his unwavering gaze staring directly into my soul." Please, "he pleaded, "don't be foolish. You're too young to be burdened with such a thing. The weight of death is heavy because it isn't meant to be shouldered alone." His expression morphed into that of nearly begging, which left me with a moderate fit of discomfort.

I hated sappy moments like this. Maybe I just didn't like the idea of others caring for my well-being. Even so, I knew that I shouldn't take his words lightly. I answered sincerely, in my own way. "How could I shoulder it alone?" I grumbled. "It's already too crowded with you leaning on me anyway."

He smiled and nodded, softening his pained expression in the process to that of huge relief.

Our "heart-to-heart" now over, he changed his focus to the dark halls ahead. Hearing that I had someone to relate to... to rely on, I could feel the pressure on my conscience being lightened, albeit very slightly. I was relieved that I wasn't alone in dealing with what I'd done.

"Ah, you're smiling like a normal person!" Agawa exclaimed, pointing at me. "Normally, you're all crazy and 'beastly' when you do that!"

"I'm not!" I furiously rubbed my arm to my face, trying to correct whatever expression I had. "And mind your business!"

But she didn't let up.

For the rest of the way, Agawa resorted to teasing me about what she'd seen. I thought about inflicting a little amnesia on her, but I was too busy lugging Nakamura around. My only hope was that we'd discover the exit sometime soon and forget my mistake as soon as possible.

As it turned out, my escape had been pretty close to where we were, taking only a few more minutes of wandering before we discovered it.

I'll admit, after all that sappiness, I was giddy to break down the next door. Which is why I was more annoyed to see that it had already been thrown wide open, exposing the slight illumination of the night sky against the town ahead.

'Looks like some of the lemmings actually made it this far.' I thought with a sharp grin.

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