I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

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◈ I’m an Infinite Regressor, But I’ve Got Stories to Tell

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The Hypocrite V

Is it possible for a psychopath to love?

Allow me to rephrase that. The question as it stands is overly broad and provocative, so let us narrow it down for clarity:

Is it possible for a psychopath to hold something in as high esteem as they hold themselves, with exactly the same weight of importance?

Most would likely think it impossible. After all, if psychopaths could allow another human being to hold equal importance to themselves, they wouldn’t be considered psychopaths to begin with.

We refer to such people as normal.

Those who obsessively crave power to the point of dismantling life’s balance and society’s morality.

Those who recklessly pursue their personal desires at the cost of destroying daily life.

Those who deviate from the natural course, fanatically yearning for a faith to the point of being called zealots.

People who reshape the world to fit their contours, rather than conforming to the outlines the world offers.

“I trust without a shadow of a doubt that Your Excellency is already aware.”

And thus, imagine a scenario in which the “what if” became what is.

“The boundary between regular humans and Awakeners is blurrier than one might think. Why is it that someone who was just an ordinary human being suddenly becomes enlightened and gains extraordinary powers? What is the cause? What is the principle?”

If a psychopath came to know good...

If they pursued the “salvation of the world” with the same absolute dedication they reserved for themselves alone...

What would happen?

“I was curious, and I have hence sufficiently satisfied my curiosity.”

The answer stood before my eyes.

“Misery. Wounds. Trauma.”

Not the correct answer, nor a solution. Instead, it was closer to a wrong answer or a fallacy. Yet, however undeniably, it served as an answer to one question.

Yu Ji-won of the 703rd cycle existed.

“Ordinary people Awaken through these emotions and events. In other words, both natural and artificial misfortunes yield the same results... Your Excellency. This Misfortune Workshop I’ve established is the ultimate ‘Awakener Factory.’ It is the frontline that will ultimately overcome humanity’s crisis.”

Indeed.

By the 3rd regression, the South Korean Branch Chief of the Church of Unhappiness—a founding member of my party—had already grasped the information I had worked so hard to conceal as a regressor.

Even if I had gone to great lengths to hide it, it was inevitable that Ji-won would one day uncover the truth herself.

Back when the Saintess was still alive, she and I had once planned out my route for this regression. It was a conversation we always had, even in other cycles, to ensure that this particular piece of information was passed on.

“Saintess, you must act as a proxy for the Constellations and actively share information with the Awakeners. However, the opposite role is also necessary.”

“Opposite, you say. May I ask what you mean?”

“The distortion and concealment of information is also essential.”

We plotted in the temple—a giant aquarium with fish shadows floating across its walls.

“If we leave someone like Jung So-hee unchecked, the pseudo-religion known as the Church of Unhappiness will spread widely across the Korean Peninsula. The problem lies in the fact that part of the Church’s doctrine contains truths.”

The secret that powerful misfortune Awakens immense abilities.

The Saintess, upon hearing this, nodded slowly. “That is dangerous information, indeed.”

“Yes. Those engrossed in the Church of Unhappiness randomly abduct people or, in extreme cases, manufacture infants in factories to offer as sacrifices at their altars.”

“Calling them altars is... certainly generous. They’re essentially torture chambers.”

“Precisely,” I said with a bitter laugh. “Ordinary people grow accustomed to misfortune. However, there are rare kinds of misfortunes one cannot grow accustomed to, the type that feels like a wound etched into one’s skin, bones, or heart. If we do nothing, there will always be rulers or zealots who farm and harvest this seed of evil.”

Quietly, the Saintess looked over my face. Across her expressionless gaze rippled shadows of water. “Understood. But why have you not adopted this methodology, Mr. Undertaker? The more Awakeners we have, the more allies of humanity we’ll gain.”

“Are they truly allies of humanity?”

“Pardon?”

“Deliberately subjecting individuals to constant, life-long suffering in order to mass-produce Awakeners. Inflicting unrelenting misfortunes that one can never adapt to, ensuring misery at every moment... Would these Awakeners truly side with humanity?”

She didn’t respond.

“It’s self-defeating. A suicidal move.”

It might sound absurd, but this is where the fundamental difference between “natural-born” and “farm-raised” Awakeners lies.

Is their hatred directed at Anomalies? Or do they despise humanity itself?

“Even some natural-born Awakeners scorn humanity, of course,” I answered, “but most harbor deeper hatred for Anomalies.”

“We lost our daily lives to Anomalies, had our civilization and reason mocked, and lost our loved ones...”

“Exactly.” I met the Saintess’s eyes directly and said, “The deeper the wounds inflicted by Anomalies, the deeper the hatred for them. Even individuals like Dang Seo-rin or Cheon Yo-hwa, who may clash on a personal level, unite seamlessly against Anomalies.”

“But if humans themselves exploit misfortune, inflicting suffering on others to create Awakeners... those Awakeners wouldn’t support humanity. They’d spearhead its annihilation.”

I nodded, remaining silent for the length of time it took an angelfish to swim from one end of the tank to the other. Then finally, I spoke.

“He who gazes into the void must be careful not to become the Void. If we lose our humanity, we become no different from Anomalies.”

“I must say... This presents a significant problem,” the Saintess murmured. “Even when civilization was intact, few upheld their humanity with pure-hearted intent. Now, in a world poisoned by the Void, we’re expected to polish our humanity...”

“That’s why we need your strength, Saintess. Even if you must play the role of the Constellations, even if you must instill the notion that someone is watching them, it is necessary to prevent people from straying.”

“Quite the burden on my shoulders.”

To an outsider, her face might have appeared devoid of expression. To me, however, her tone of voice declared in no uncertain terms that my words deeply resonated with her.

“But it’s something I must do. Only I can do it. So I will.”

That was our promise.

However, to confess the truth, I withheld one final secret from the Saintess.

https://dsc.gg/reapercomics

“I fully understand Your Excellency’s concerns.”

And so we return to the voice of Yu Ji-won.

“Aah, aaaaaah. Ugh, ugh...”

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. For being comfortable, for not being in pain, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.”

“Is anyone there?! I... I’m Kim Jae-gu, born in Gimhae and heading to Busan’s Yeonsan-dong! Please, let my family know I’m alive!”

“Ahhhhh!”

The Misfortune Workshop constructed below in the Inunaki Tunnel was a meticulously designed prison of solitary confinement cells. It imprisoned not only the bodies but even the sounds of its captives.

But I could hear it.

And while perhaps not as keenly as I, Ji-won, among the top five in the Korean Peninsula for Aura mastery, could undoubtedly hear it too.

“Even if you mass-produce Awakeners this way, you can’t brainwash them into believing in some grand cause for humanity. Isn’t that your concern? There is a solution.”

Even though I hadn’t said a word, she followed my line of thought as if it were obvious.

The two of us were overly familiar with each other’s logic. For Yu Ji-won, I, as a regressor, was the key to the world’s rise or fall. She studied me as a physicist would study the laws of physics.

“First. Using Baekhwa High’s Student Council President’s NPC Creation, we can brainwash them into becoming a united force fueled by hatred for Anomalies.”

“But Yo-hwa wouldn’t do that.”

“Indeed. More precisely, the orange-haired student council president would never act in a way that Your Excellency doesn’t desire or request. No matter the means, I could never hold equal weight to Your Excellency in her heart.”

A truly unfortunate matter...

Ji-won lamented in her usual tone, “Thus, the second method. Can you guess what it is, Your Excellency?”

“Role division...”

“Exactly.” She gave a deep bow of her head as a nod. “As expected of Your Excellency. Precisely. There’s no need for these mass-produced Awakeners to ‘love all of humanity.’”

Just one person.

“Someone who saved them from this hellish torment... It’s a simple principle. Think of it as a variation of the good cop, bad cop dynamic. Bad Cop A imprisons people and subjects them to misery and suffering. Conversely, Good Cop B defeats the wicked A and rescues them.”

I sighed in exasperation. “You’re right. As you said, if one person embodies misfortune while another embodies salvation, we wouldn’t even need to use Yo-hwa’s brainwashing techniques. It would naturally attract the mass-produced Awakeners to their side.”

This was the information I hadn’t shared with the Saintess. Perhaps she had subconsciously realized it, but neither of us ever dared to voice it.

“Yes.”

However, Ji-won was different. The silver-haired psychopath not only conceived of this possibility but actively, earnestly, and willingly brought it to life.

“I volunteer to play the role of the bad cop, Your Excellency. Please, become the savior... No one is better suited for the role of the bad cop than I am.”

She took a step closer to me.

“The Saintess is too gentle. She empathizes too deeply with others’ pain. Dang Seo-rin, Sim Ah-ryeon, Lee Ha-yul, Seo Gyu, and Oh Dok-seo all have their own reasons for being unfit... Cheon Yo-hwa and Chief Noh Do-hwa might be suitable, but Your Excellency holds those two in great esteem. You wouldn’t use them as disposable tools for the bad cop role, would you?”

Yu Ji-won placed a hand over her heart.

“I am different from them... I am as competent as they are, if not more so. The fact that I constructed the Misfortune Workshop without detection already proves my capabilities.”

Even Do-hwa, who was by no means incompetent, only witnessed Ji-won’s “abduction” but failed to detect this massive prison’s construction.

“Furthermore, even if Your Excellency used me as a disposable piece, I would harbor no resentment—no negative emotions or any trivial sentiments whatsoever.”

I didn’t answer.

“Cheon Yo-hwa? She would gladly align with Your Excellency’s intentions but would simultaneously seek reassurance that she holds a unique place in Your Excellency’s heart.”

Ji-won drew even closer.

“Chief Noh Do-hwa? Likewise, though she would cooperate with Your Excellency’s plans, she would also attempt to assert her significance in Your Excellency’s mind.”

Even closer.

“But as I said, I am different.”

Under the dim lighting, her silver hair glimmered with a dark sheen.

“I am a psychopath. I do not crave Your Excellency’s love. I have no need for affection or attention, nor do I seek hatred or indifference... Simply keeping me alive and utilizing me fulfills the capacity I aimed to occupy in Your Excellency’s heart. Your Excellency, even psychopaths have their uses.”

Ji-won took one final step, then stopped.

She was now directly in front of me.

Somewhere, deeper than 1,200 meters below the surface, the faint, earthy scent of freshly washed strawberries wafted.

“Even if Your Excellency discards me as a mere tool, I have no regrets. You understand this, don’t you?”

Finally, I spoke.

“Yes.”

“Then our meeting can be called fate. Your Excellency has led me, a psychopath, toward good. I can perform roles that others cannot for Your Excellency’s greater good.”

Ji-won gazed at me with unwavering eyes, her head tilted up to meet mine.

“Use me, Your Excellency... Save them. Embrace and guide the Awakeners who have come to hate me. Lead them to side with humanity... And then discard me.”

Ji-won.

Personal color: silver.

My first confidant and secretary.

She spoke.

“I was undoubtedly born to take on this role.”

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