845 In Return

Leaving my bedroom turned out to be a whole lot more complicated than just swinging the door a little wider.

When you have someone like Adalia with you, huddled so close to you, it becomes more a matter of willpower and strength than anything else. It’s like having to leave some poor cat alone that came cuddling up to you wanting pets.

It’s gut-wrenching.

Hell, I don’t think Mr. Black was even capable of such raw, unbridled heartache himself.

Sadly, with pressing obligations like my own… I had to do what I had to do. I rose from the bed, Ria’s gift tucked under an arm, and step by step, I drew further into blasphemy, leaving Adalia all on her lonesome.

“You’re staying?” I asked, one foot already past the doorway. “Usually you’d be gone the moment I look back.”

For an answer, Adalia dropped herself in one stiff, swift motion like a domino being pushed, sinking slightly into the mattress… her long, silvery hair I meticulously braided spilling messily across the crumpled sheets.

“Later…” was all I managed to hear in the slightest murmur, lifting herself up to her side a moment after, a loose lock of hair draped over her face, partly hiding the soft swirl of her gaze peering back at me.

At this point, I’m not sure whose bed that belongs to anymore. Actually, do I even have a room anymore?

.....

“Alright,” I flashed her a parting smile. “Guess I’ll see you next year.”

I could still feel her eyes on me as I paced deeper down the hall, a weighty sensation that only lifted halfway down the stairs. The last few steps were filled with the buzzing rustling sound of leaves, and when I finally landed on even ground, I accidentally kicked a stray red bauble, clattering, rolling across the living room before colliding with another bauble next to the couch in an almost festive game of billiards.

Rustling again, and the Christmas tree in the center came tumbling with a bright blue bauble this time. Past the clutter of thick branches, hanging reindeer, and flying doves, Ash emerged directly from the otherside cladded in her own clutter of streamers and tangled wires.

I took one look at her, at the mess of ornaments scattered across the ground, and felt flooded to the brim with both guilt and amusement.

“Y’know, yeah, I did say we really oughta take down the tree when we find the time,” I said, watching Mr. Black make off with a poor little angel doll, taking it to his nest off in a corner somewhere. “Don’t remember saying we needed to get it done by tonight.”

Bashfully and knowingly, Ash wriggled free from her merry binds, carefully navigating her way through the obstacle course of her own making, stopping short just a step away from me with the slightest hint of a smile on her face.

“Waited until the day I have plans before actually getting started – clever,” I said. “Save me the hard work of taking down the tree. Now I have no choice but to let you do it all on your own… ooh, you’re a real clever one, Ash.”

“I’m afraid you must have simply misjudged my intentions, Master,” Ash said, speaking, ears wriggling as pure and innocent as can be. “I just merely felt like it is all… so any repercussions, any result of convenience spurred by my actions…” her smile quivered a little. “I fear, are all entirely coincidental.”

“I don’t know whether I should be thankful or resentful, honestly. You really put me in quite a spot here.”

“Whatever you feel that is rightfully deserving of me, Master,” she said lightly. “The repercussions are my own to bear, and yours alone to render. As always, I am at your mercy.”

I sighed, defeat in my breath. “Unfortunately…”

“Indeed,” Ash chuckled, pulling and tugging the faint wrinkles off my clothes without skipping a beat. “And how merciful you always are to me… and that is precisely why I can think to do the things I do for you.”

“Because I can’t say no to you?”

“Love has its own countless repercussions, Master,” her fingers lifted away from my now neatly folded collar, grazing, stroking slightly the bottom of my chin. “You’ll just have to simply learn to deal with them, I suppose.”

Again, I got snared by that conflicting feeling. Front door’s right there yet my muscles are cramping wanting to stay. Leaving Ash by her lonesome, tonight especially, seemed just as much a one-way ticket to eternal damnation as leaving Adalia was.

And unlike Adalia, I don’t think… I don’t know if there was anything for her to do in terms of celebration.

“Tonight,” I spoke up. “Once you’re done here, what then? Gonna stay up, see the fireworks with Sera, maybe?”

“Ah, perhaps not, Master,” Ash said, briefly lifting her gaze to the quiet, empty floor above. “Sera wishes only to recuperate for the time being. I do not believe she’ll be presently inclined to do much else than that.”

Two days, and she’s still cooped up in the guest room. Whatever Irene had her do in her time there, there’s no doubt it’s grander than anything she has ever done.

Blight cleansing included.

“So,” I felt my shoulders fall hard with a shrug. “No plans at all?”

“Well, I surmise the tree should take me quite some time to completely disassemble,” she mused. “Once I am done, earlier or later as planned, regardless of which… I suppose I should simply just go to sleep.”

And that’s exactly what I was worried about. At a time, an occasion meant especially to be with your loved ones… Ash didn’t have anyone. She didn’t have me.

“I sense you mean more than just to inquire, Master,” Ash said, observing astutely. “As always, you worry, you grieve… when sincerely, you needn’t have to be.”

“Like I can help it,” I heaved back at her. “You really think I can just leave you?”

“Leave me?” she chuckled at that. “Master, I don’t think you – ”

“Maybe I could stay for a little while longer...” I said, grasping for ideas. “Could help a little with the tree, y’know, just for a while?”

“That won’t be necessary, I – ”

“Or maybe you can come along with me?” I suggested some more. “I’m positive Irene won’t mind if I bring a guest.”

“I do not doubt that she would, Master, but – ” Ash shook her head, speaking quickly before I could interrupt again. ” – I ask, would that be fair to her? As I recall, she asked solely for you, didn’t she?”

Ash was right, and even before she said it, I knew what was right, what was fair… but all the same… was it really fair to just leave her like this?

Her eyes softened staring in silence back at mine, and it was almost as if she knew exactly what I had been thinking just then.

“You’ll return, Master,” she said to me. “You always do, don’t you?”

And with another smile, she took me by hand, the green of her gaze dazzling brighter, closer.

“Whenever you leave, whenever you’re with someone else, loving someone else… regardless of who, Lady Irene, Amanda, Adalia… Master, who is it that always awaits your return? always ready to welcome you home? I watch you go, Master… but not once have you ever left me, and how could you? After all, isn’t it me that you always return back to? I ask, how am I ever to truly feel alone when I know I’ll always have you to wait for?”

Her words overwhelmed me in an overwhelming cascade of affection. I could only stare into her eyes, I couldn’t even think… all I could do was feel… as her feelings, her gaze, and her fingers weave seamlessly into my own.

“And besides...” she said, speaking a little quieter. “I still have your present as well to await for, don’t I? Whatever that turns out to be.”

“Yeah...” I muttered, feeling my voice lose its contention. “You still have that. I’m still getting you that. Wait for that.”

“So until that day should arrive... please, tell me, Master,” she said, her breath warm on my lips. “Should I expect tonight or any other night to be any different from your ventures prior?”

I felt the shake in my head, but I didn’t feel it move… the swell in my throat, but I barely heard myself speak.

“No,” I managed to say, to whisper. “I’ll return.”

And right then, all I could ever see was the tender smile spreading across her expression, the quiver in her eyes as she drew it even nearer to mine.

“Then I shall just wait for you…” she whispered, feeling her warmth, her lips, kissing me full and gently. “...as I always do.”

After what felt like a second in eternity, Ash pulled away, taking a step back, still smiling, her ears still fluttering, and with a breathy chuckle, spoke a familiar sounding farewell.

“See you next year.”

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