Chapter 110: Too Rough
"If... if you like them, you can take them... but don't sell them. I... I don’t like it when others..."
Xu Qing listened to her explanation with a blank expression.
It seemed the label of "pervert" wasn't coming off anytime soon.
"Don't worry. I don't like shoes, and I won’t sell them either. Just keep your shoes properly," he said.
Returning to his room, he grabbed the straw sandals and handed them to Jiang He with a sigh. "Let’s just move past this, okay?"
"Do you not like them anymore?" Jiang He asked, her heart sinking.
"...I never liked them," Xu Qing replied, clenching his fists.
"But... you..."
"There’s something called antiques—the older they are, the more valuable. These old straw sandals are just shy of becoming antiques. I only fished them out of the trash because of their antique value, not because of the shoes themselves," Xu Qing explained.Jiang He stared at him silently, half-believing his words, then handed the sandals back to him. "I won’t tell anyone about this."
Xu Qing took a deep breath. "Fine, just leave them there. Let’s not bring this up again. And what do you mean by ‘latching onto me’? Just because you kissed me, you’re claiming me? Your expression was so fierce—you really startled me."
"I... I don’t want to go back," Jiang He said softly, setting down the straw sandals and lowering her head.
"Then why did you drink?" Xu Qing asked curiously, glancing at his wrist, where two faint bruises lingered.
Jiang He remained silent, her head bowed.
"Let me break it down for you. We’re together every day, and I’m constantly flirting with you. Let’s use the word ‘flirting’ for now, alright? If you like me, it’s only natural to agree. There’s no need to drink and then forcefully pull something like this, making it seem like you’re the one flirting with me all day..."
"Just agreeing is enough?" Jiang He murmured.
"Of course. What else?" Xu Qing replied, then paused as realization dawned. "Wait. You saw me flirting with you every day and thought agreeing wasn’t enough—that if you liked me, you had to make some grand gesture like I do. Is that it?"
He tried to decipher her thought process. Their worlds were so different that without communication, he couldn’t understand what was going through her mind.
"We’re not innocent anymore," Jiang He abruptly changed the topic, lifting her head and pretending to be composed. "I... am your girlfriend now."
"You’ve been my girlfriend for a while."
"No, I am now."
"Fine. It’s all the same. Come here and give me a hug." Xu Qing opened his arms.
Jiang He’s heart pounded as she scooted closer, and Xu Qing wrapped her in an embrace.
"Your idea of ‘innocence’ and mine have always been different. What you want and what I want aren’t the same either," Xu Qing murmured, catching a faint whiff of the shampoo she had used that morning. The light scent wrapped around him as he tightened his hold on her, sighing internally—he had waited a long time for this moment.
"I..."
"Don’t speak. Let me finish first," Xu Qing interrupted, resting his cheek against her hair.
"Last time, I told you I wanted you to be my wife, and you headbutted me in embarrassment. Oh, by the way, it didn’t hurt—you rubbing it was enough to ‘fix’ it. Anyway, that day you were already struggling with your feelings. My bluntness embarrassed you and made you lash out, right?"
Enjoying the softness in his arms, Xu Qing absentmindedly stroked her back as he rambled on. "How should I put this? Even if I were blind, I could tell you like me. But things like your sense of obligation, shyness, and... whatever else have been holding you back.
"Yes, you’ve been struggling for a long time—since the time you asked me what to do about feeling guilty. You just didn’t dare face reality."
He paused, organizing his thoughts before continuing. "This day was bound to come eventually, but I didn’t think it’d arrive so soon. Our relationship is unique, and your background is special. You don’t understand a lot of things.
"You’re from a thousand years ago, uneducated, friendless, and just struggling to survive. Now that your life is stable, it’s normal to like it and even act impulsively. Plus, I’ve been subtly guiding you this whole time."
Xu Qing lowered his gaze to her and softly asked, "I want to date you, but do you even know what dating means?"
"It’s when two people are boyfriend and girlfriend," Jiang He replied at last.
"And then?"
"Then... they get married," she said, confused.
"Marriage is the outcome, not the purpose," Xu Qing sighed, holding her tighter. "Liking you is liking you. Lusting after you is lusting after you. They’re two different things."
"Are they really?"
"Yes. If I wanted to, I could keep you offline, lie to you however I wanted, and lock you up all day without clothes..." He shrugged, laughing at her shocked expression. "People are always influenced by their surroundings—that’s unavoidable. When you first mentioned ‘innocence,’ did you think you’d ever end up pinning me down for a kiss?"
Jiang He stayed silent, unsure why he was bringing all this up.
"You’re a good person," she suddenly said.
Xu Qing chuckled, stroking her back. "Of course I am."
"If it weren’t for you, when I first arrived, I’d have starved or even turned to crime. Unless I met someone else like you, I wouldn’t have had a place to stay," Jiang He murmured, burying her face in his chest. "Even now, if I left, I’d have no choice but to turn to the police for help. Whether I admitted my identity or claimed to be a wandering drifter, it wouldn’t be as good as staying here."
"You’ve thought this through," Xu Qing said, surprised by her intelligence. "That’s better than some people."
"You’re... you’re my benefactor. Whatever your reasons for bringing me back, I’ve been living well ever since," Jiang He mustered the courage to say. "Yesterday, I just... just wanted this to last forever. So... so..."
"So you kissed me?" Xu Qing shook his head. "That’s not right. You think a kiss makes things less innocent? Are you going to learn more someday and try to pin me down to have a kid?"
"...You’d want that, wouldn’t you?" Jiang He muttered, pursing her lips.
"Even though I wouldn’t refuse and might even be happy, that’s not what I want," Xu Qing sighed, holding her tightly. "I want a wife named Jiang He who’s adapted to the modern world, not a naive girl who’d bear my child just for stability."
"Are you lying to me, or is that the truth?" Jiang He immediately regretted the question. A liar wouldn’t admit to lying.
"Do you want to be deceived?" Xu Qing countered.
"..."
Jiang He felt ashamed.
"I’m glad I managed to deceive you, but your forceful approach was way too fast," Xu Qing said, leaning down to kiss her forehead lightly. Looking into her eyes, he added, "I want you to learn how to smile."
"I... don’t smile?"
"You’ve never smiled at me," he said with a small, wistful smile of his own.
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