Chapter 276
T.w: self-harm
As if he had guessed the Priest’s inner thoughts, Seo Dawon said, “It’s not that I don’t like you. You’re just not my type.”
“……”
“Therefore, I would like it if you wouldn’t think that there’s a problem with you or me. It’s just… We don’t match.” Seo Dawon said, staring at her.
Ryu Hyerin felt endlessly shabby in front of the Mage. She had come here believing that this conversation was her last chance, but there were no chinks in the Mage’s armor.
He didn’t even seem to be affected by Ryu Hyerin’s confession. She started to feel nervous, and she unwittingly grabbed at the recovery band attached to her wrist and began to tear it off. As the skin underneath the tab peeled away, irritated by her continual actions, blood began to seep out, little by little.
Seo Dawon looked at Ryu Hyerin, her head bowed silently; he soon approached her with a puzzled expression. “What are you doing?”
“……” Ryu Hyerin only returned to her senses when the Mage came close. She hid her wrist with her other hand, but it seemed as if the other had already seen.
His brows furrowed for the first time. Seo Dawon simply grabbed her arm, pulling it away from the other arm–her defenses were batted aside easily. When he saw the pinch marks and the torn skin–where blood had welled up–he coldly said, “Did Kim Olim see this too?”
“Let…go of me.”
“How could I simply let this go? Since when have you been this way?”
It hasn’t been long. This habit appeared the day she asked for a favor from Kim Olim.
However, in these past few days, she consciously realized that hurting herself would significantly reduce the sinking feeling in her stomach. A small injury like this would heal quickly if she wiped at it with a cloth wetted with potion. Besides, she wouldn’t ever wound herself too horribly… At least, that’s what she thought.
Although Seo Dawon had ripped away her defenses, the injury wasn’t life-threatening; she only felt ashamed. Ryu Hyerin shouted at him in a withering tone, “This…Isn’t your business! Besides, you don’t like me anyway…”
“Are you out of your mind?” Seo Dawon did not back down.
Ryu Hyerin struggled angrily before shooting back harsh words, “Does that matter?! Don’t pretend you care now. You’d be more at ease if I were to die! Even when I confessed, you looked at me like I was some tiresome bother..!”
“Hyerin-ah, stop throwing a damn tantrum. Are you trying my patience because I’m not throwing insults at you?”
“W-What…”
She froze–Seo Dawon spouted harsh swear words at her… words he usually reserved for Woo Ragi and Choi Kyungsik.
Because the Mage never swore at her, like he did with the other guildmates, even when she made mistakes or acted immature, Ryu Hyerin thought Seo Dawon treated her specially. In contrast, his current behavior compounded her shock.
Seo Dawon took the blood-stained gauze off her stiffened wrist, took out a potion from his inventory, and poured it over her wound. When he saw that the wound did not immediately recover–the potion simply frothed a bit as the wounds faded very slowly–his expression appeared similar to a Yaksha’s face. 1 “Did you use a potion on this yesterday?”
“N-No…”
“Answer me properly.”
“I didn’t…”
“Then, if you didn’t use one, why are you experiencing a superimposed reaction? That kind of reaction only occurs when a potion has been used in the last 24 hours. Do you think you’re smarter than me?”
“……” For the first time, Ryu Hyerin was able to understand, with her whole body, why Choi Kyung-sik was so scared of Seo Dawon. Not only was he able to immediately see through her lies, but the Mage’s aura intimidated her so much that she couldn’t even say anything. It felt like a horrible weight pressing down on her soul and body.
Eventually, Ryu Hyerin hung her head; Seo Dawon threw away the half-used potion back into his inventory before taking out a hair-tie-sized round chain. Then, he tied it around her now-healthy wrist.
[Action-Restricting Taming Chain]
Type: Chain
Durability: 1
Equipment Level Restriction: 250
Special Skills:
[Correction]
If the Wearer attempts a specific action specified by the User, the User is alerted.
Description:
A chain made by Seo Dawon exclusively for taming monsters. It can correct a monster’s bad behavior.]
He was essentially treating her like some trainable monster, but she could not resist the threatening pressure pouring forth from the Mage.
After fitting the chain around her wrist, he placed a ‘make no sound’ spell on it; the magic permeated through the metal. He released Ryu Hyerin’s wrist from his hold.
“…What is this?” She asked.
“From now on, every time you do something insane, this’ll send me an alarm.”
“What happens when you receive an alarm?”
“Try it out if you’re so curious.”
“……” Feeling incredibly emotional, Ryu Hyerin shed tears.
The Mage didn’t care about that; he even began mumbling angrily about Kim Olim as well. “Kim Olim, you bastard, if you saw something like this you should have let me know first. What am I supposed to do if you’re swayed by some child’s desires.”
“…O-Olim Unni was…”
“Shut up. Are you in a position to stand up for others right now?”
“……” At the mention of Kim Olim, Ryu Hyerin immediately and automatically tried to craft an excuse, but she could only bite her lips at the Mage’s rebuke.
After watching her bite her lips, Seo Dawon suddenly grabbed her chin. At first, Ryu Hyerin had no idea what was going on, but she was only released after her teeth stopped nibbling on her lips.
She looked down at her wrist, just in case. As expected, the chain shined golden before the light slowly faded away. Only then did Ryu Hyerin realize the power of the chain–the binding and restrictive force it had on all her actions.
She clenched her lips and looked up at the Mage, who was still standing by her side. He looked lost in thought, but, as soon as he felt her sharp gaze, he made eye contact without avoiding her stare.
Ryu Hyerin said reproachfully, “I’m really confused.”
“……”
“You don’t want to see me hurt myself? Why? Oppa and I have no relationship.”
Seo Dawon barked out a short laugh, “What do you mean by that? We do have a relationship.”
“What?”
“You’re just not my lover. You’re the Priest that I’ve reared–you and I have dungeoned together for over two years.”
“……”
“If two people aren’t lovers, then are they nothing to each other? Then, why do you feel sorry to Kim Olim?”
Though her face flushed at the reasonable criticism, Ryu Hyerin didn’t give up and clung to the Mage, “I want more than that. Why else would I have hurt myself.”
“You shouldn’t say that sort of thing to me–that’s something you should reserve for the doctor when you go to the hospital.”
“Don’t be sarcastic! Think a little! Oppa only has to change his mind and heart a tiny amount. You said you didn’t dislike me!”
“By the way, psychiatrists don’t date their patients.”
“Ah, seriously! Then just leave me alone! It’s not like I’m seriously injured; I just ripped off a few layers of skin…!”
Seo Dawon interrupted her; his voice was calm, “Hyerin-ah, I didn’t think you’d find it this hard to understand.”
“……”
“If Kim Olim did something like this, I’d lock her up in a hospital and stay by her side for 24 hours.”
“……”
“Do you also think that’s love?”
Ryu Hyerin’s face grew redder because Seo Dawon was trying to define a line between them. She shouted, “Since when have you taken care of everyone else–as if it’s common sense…!”
“I’ve always been a sensible, reasonable person. I’ve always been generous to those that don’t do anything stupid. You know that well, right?”
“…I, I… was never a special existence for Oppa…? Not even a little? Really?”
“Yeah. I think you’re behaving this way because you haven’t met many people.”
Everything felt distant to Ryu Hyerin, as if a huge wall surrounded her. Reeling from anger and despair, she embraced Seo Dawon’s waist even harder. The Mage didn’t shake her off, but he didn’t return her hug either. She weeped, “Then… If you knew I liked you… Why… were you like that. Why…”
“……”
“I’d rather you have treated me horribly… You could have done that…”
Seo Dawon patiently patted her on the head. Ryu Hyerin knew he was trying to placate her, but she could only weep louder.
There was no shame to be found here. She already felt like she had come so far; she couldn’t return without the Mage. She couldn’t accept his rejection because she firmly believed that no one else would make her happy.
Eventually, Seo Dawon stood by her side until she had exhausted herself from crying. However, what she wanted wouldn’t come out of his mouth. “Hyerin-ah, think carefully about what you truly want.”
“……”
“About your feelings for me. It isn’t love.”
“…Are you negating my feelings now?”
“You might like me, but only to the extent of wanting to be by my side.”
“……”
“It’s a terrible feeling to be pitied by someone you love.”
“……”
At that time, Ryu Hyerin couldn’t understand what he said. And, Seo Dawon smiled bitterly when, judging by her vacant expression, he realized she didn’t understand.
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TL: They all need ~*therapy*~
…except, psychiatrists apparently exist? Honestly, counseling should be mandatory for Users. Also, gah, I feel like my brain is hurting from Hyerin’s logic. Also Next Time: Back from the flashback!
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