~ SASHA ~
As they passed the walled in room, Sasha caught sight of another of those trash cans and she knew she wasn't going to make it out of this place.
Throwing the lid back, she bent over it, her body purging and heaving. She tried to be quiet, though she couldn't have said why. She wanted nothing more than to interrupt those two in the arena. To stop them from having to go through with this.
But then Nick's words came back to her.
Desperate. The females were desperate. For mates and families.
They wanted this.
She shook her head and heaved again.
This was wrong. This was all just so wrong.
How was she ever going to stop this from happening? These people made the Chimera!
As her body finally emptied itself and she sagged over the trash can, panting, swallowing, waiting to see if there was anything left, despair washed over her.
This was impossible. These people… what they did…
How was she ever going to defeat them?
When she finally trusted her stomach to stay in one place, she stood up and, without meeting eyes with Nick, followed him past the boxed in room, to another stairwell behind it that descended into the dark.
Her body flashed a warning—she was walking into the unknown, the dark, in this place where these men did these horrible things and had no accountability…
But she just shook her head at herself. What did it matter?
It hit her then that no matter what she did or said, the moment these people recognized that she was trying to deceive them, or work around them, they would simply kill her.
She would have no choice in it. Probably not even time to respond.
So she followed Nick, down into the dark. He flipped on a light at the bottom of the stairs, then led her down another, very narrow hallway, muttering to himself. She ignored him. Her entire body trembled. Her knees felt like they wanted to give out on every step.
And her head spun.
I'm so sorry, Zev, she whispered in her mind, wishing so desperately that he could hear her. She put a hand to her chest, to that spot where he had been a part of her, cradled it with the flat of her palm. I'm so sorry. I didn't realize.
*****
An hour and another shower later—a shower in which she'd sobbed for twenty minutes straight—Sasha sat on the thick sofa in the small apartment Nick had assigned her. He'd ducked out to get her something sweet to drink. She wondered if the door would open if she used her card or if he'd locked her in.
She decided she didn't want to know, and stayed in her seat, staring at the door.
She was weak. She was scared, and tired, and missing Zev, and terrified that she'd completely misjudged her own ability to handle this… place.
But she was also here, and had no choice. She'd started down this path, and there were only two ways out of it—through these men, or killed by them. She was certain of that now.
Nick had watched those two wolves breed like it was a boring class assignment. If he, who claimed to care about Zev, who claimed to be invested in the safety of the Chimera and fighting to keep them alive—if that man was completely calloused about the things that were being done to them here, imagine what the others must be like? The men who threatened to just wipe the slate clean?
When Nick returned with a bottle of the cranberry juice she'd requested, and a six pack of ginger beer that she hadn't, she didn't say anything. She watched him put the ginger beer in the fridge, then pour her a glass of the shiny red juice.
Then he walked over to stand in front of her and offer it to her.
She took it gratefully. She needed something palate cleansing. But she didn't know what to say. She had so many questions, and was so terrified of the answers.
Nick just stood in front of her while she sipped the juice and waited. She wasn't sure whether to be grateful for his thoughtfulness, or creeped out.
"I need to know," she said faintly, finally.
"Know what?"
She raised her head and met his eyes. "Do you realize that those women are being raped?"
Nick gaze didn't even waver. "No, they aren't. I'll admit, we're exploiting their instincts, but they only enter the arena if—"
Rage flared in Sasha's chest, and she was grateful for it. It made her feel stronger. "Cut the bullshit manipulation, Nick. You said you were an honest man."
Nick's eyes flared with anger and he raised an eyebrow, but started talking. "Those females you met? When we were trying to breed Zev, they were in the pool. They were desperate to make babies. Desperate, Sasha. Begging for it. Literally. They willingly came to the stables. They willingly entered the breeding arena with Zev. Because everything in them was driving them to it. Don't blame them, Sasha. But don't blame us, either. We did the right thing, keeping them out of the hands of other men. They would have bonded with whoever took them. And they would have offered themselves because their instincts told them that was the only way to build a family… We learned that the hard way."
When Sasha just stared at him, Nick shook his head. "Don't judge me, Sasha. We could have used that against them. You get that, right? What men will do when women offer themselves? We protected them from that. This is a piece of themselves that even they don't understand. When they were taken out of their natural environment, it changed how they reacted to the world. So we brought them here to keep them from putting themselves in a worse position."
Sasha stood up, toe-to-toe with him and didn't give him space. "I'm glad you're protecting your assets," she hissed. "But don't expect me to congratulate you on treating them "better" when you're the one who put them in that position in the first place."
They stared at each other for a long, cold second, then Nick's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head. "I thought I understood why it was you, for Zev," he said quietly. "But I think I was wrong."
Sasha snorted. "If I'm certain of anything, Nick, it's that you're wrong. Very, very wrong."
She wasn't sure how she'd expected him to respond to that, but it wasn't with a loud, hearty laugh.
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