Zinya had waist-long black hair and a sweet smile. She was a bit shorter than Kamila but she had always been prettier than her younger sister.
"I beg your pardon? Why should I be angry with the Kingdom?" The sight of her beauty and of the love in her eyes never failed to surprise Vastor.
"I know that no one worked harder than you to recapture Belius. That without you they would have failed." She projected from her amulet the images of the short armored warrior carrying a wooden staff that she knew was her husband.
"Yet once again someone else younger and allegedly more talented hogged all the glory and solely Phloria Ernas' name has been recorded in the Royal Chronicles. I understand that you are sad, but feeling you so distant even on the rare occasions you are home hurts."
"That's not the problem." He shook his head. "I'm already an Archmage. Even if everything I did became public, I would still not become a Magus. That requires sharing knowledge that I don't possess.
"Believe me, I'm not envious of the Ernas sisters. Quite the contrary, I'm proud of them. They are my students and they are finally getting the recognition they deserve."
"Then why are you here instead of in our room with me, Zogar?" Zinya asked.
"It's complicated." He sighed, hoping that she would drop the matter.
"Then make it simple." She closed the door and dragged a chair near his desk to sit in front of him. "I want to be a part of your life, not a side project."
"I can't. I don't want to hurt you." The Master averted his eyes, knowing that if he didn't, he would fall apart.
No torture would make him talk, but his wife would succeed. Her love was real and her questions were reasonable. Yet Vastor was afraid of driving Zinya away were she to discover the truth, and even more scared if she decided to stay anyway.
It would make her his accomplice and taint her with a guilt that she didn't deserve.
"Is this because I can't have children?" Zinya took his hand, her voice pained but steady. "Is it because you have another woman that you can't even look me in the eyes?"
"What?" Vastor turned around in outrage. "How can you even think that? What kind of man do you think I a-" Then he remembered about his crimes and he lacked the strength to finish the word.
"Then why do you act like this and why do you hate yourself so much?" She cupped his face in her hands, forcing the Master to look up. "I can't help you if you don't tell me what's wrong with you."
"Believe me. You don't want to know and you wouldn't understand." He replied, breaking free from her touch.
"What I don't want to know? That you are a Highmaster who killed thousands whenever the Crown wanted to clean up without getting dirty?" Zinya took out a conspiracy theory book about the secret specializations.
There were pictures of black armors that closely resembled the one Vastor wore in the few frames of his fights available to the public. Frames that Zinya's amulet was now projecting.
"What I wouldn't understand? That your 'children' are actually old monsters from the past?" She took more tomes out of her dimensional amulet.
One was a lore book depicting the infamous Tezka the Suneater while the other was a Forgemastery book where Bytra's face was portrayed along with her title as the Rune Magus.
Yet while the Raiju still looked the same, Tezka's current form was adorable compared to the monster depicted in the book. He was portrayed as a colossal creature whose presence darkened the sun and whose shadow killed everyone on its path.
"Where did you find those?" Vastor turned pale in shock.
"These two were easy." She pointed at the last two books. "Tezka introduced himself when he saved us from Meln while Bytra is hard to forget. All I had to do was to input their names in the Royal Library's database.
"This one was really tricky." Zinya held the conspiracy book. "It's filled with so much crap that I had to search every page with a sieve just to find a sliver of truth. At first, I didn't want to believe it, but then I saw you recapturing Belius in that black armor and everything made sense."
"Zin, I-"
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare treat me like an idiot." She clenched his hand, her voice hurt rather than angry. "That's you. I'd recognize how you move and how you fight among thousands.
"I've lived with you for months now and I've seen you battle to the death twice. Maybe it was nothing much to you, but I'll remember it until the day I die."
"It's all true, Zin." Vastor slouched his shoulders, feeling something inside of him die. "I'm a mass murderer who has recruited ancient monsters."
"See? Was it so hard?" Instead of running away, she was still there, smiling.
"It is, because you don't understand." He hated to kill the love that lit her eyes, but there was no way to stop the avalanche once the first stone had started to roll.
"What's to understand? You are like Lith. Your country tasked you to do bad stuff for the right reason and you are friends with inhuman creatures." Zinya shrugged.
"I'm nothing like him!" Vastor stood up taking out his military amulet and pulling out the details of Lith's missions known to the public. "Do you know what these are?"
He pointed at the numbers at the end of every report.
"Confirmed kills means the enemy soldiers Lith fell while collateral damageā¦" The first number was big and heavy but even though the second was much smaller, it was also heavier.
"It shows the number of innocents who died either by his hand or by the scouts to ensure the success of the mission." Vastor completed the phrase since his wife couldn't find the strength to do it herself.
"This is the report for the conquest of a single city, Zin. Now multiply it by the number of cities I've taken. And then multiply it again by the number of years of my service.
"Lith has worked part time for the Kingdom for almost 4 years, whereas I'm working full time for almost 40. I know you can do the math but do you want to? Can you live with those numbers?"
"I can't." Zinya dispelled the hologram, her brain and heart rejecting reality. "How can the Royals ask you to do such things? How can you bring yourself to follow their orders?"
"Because if I don't, someone else will and if no one does, much more people will die." The Master's voice became as cold as his eyes.
She could almost see mountains of bodies piled up in them, almost smell the rivers of blood he had shed.
"Is that how you met your 'children'? Are they also victims of the Kingdom?" She asked.
"No." Vastor shook his head, moving his chair back to give her space. "After years on the job, I became a monster. "
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